Vendor Problems

I keep hearing phrases like ‘curb appeal’ and ‘home staging’, and every time I do I get a little bit more annoyed with the world. Why are people so shallow? I get that it’s how we’re built – that our imaginations are just waiting to be stimulated, even at the expense of our rational minds – and that this helps us project matters into the future and make effective decisions. But it also means we all end up spending money we don’t have in vain attempts to appease this mechanisms. 

The problem is that, when you’re following trends, there’s no end to it. It’s like, just when you think you’ve nailed the latest in tasteful paint colours, summer-flowering potted trees and ratio of throw blankets to floor cushions, all the trends get replaced with a ‘new-look twist’ that sends you right back to square one. 

Sometimes I wonder about where I’ve chosen to live. When it comes to things like mortgage consultants and conveyancing for vendors, Clifton Hill is a perfectly fine place to be positioned. But when it comes to styling your house to go on the market, it’s a nightmare. Buyers here are preternaturally attuned to that domain, in all its nuance and infinite variety. 

You’d think that would mean they’d have a broader view on things, but in most cases it translates to an excessive focus on how things stack up to emerging trends and achieve the elusive balance of original flair and trend consciousness.

It’s tiring, I tell you. You think conveyancing and settlement is an expensive, stressful and confusing process? Try figuring out what font is in vogue for letterbox numbering this month. Try planting an arrangement of bulbs that will flower in the pattern that’s trending in three months time. Try buying a cushion that’s not so derivative it’ll be out of style before you can afford to update. Just try it.