No Longer Boxing

Grabbing my boxing gloves, I flung myself out the door and jumped in my car. I had been putting it off for some time, but finally, I mustered up the courage to get back into my favourite sport: boxing. Naturally, I was somewhat hesitant to get back into it, after losing the Mega Strong Punching Championship back in my twenties. That was over five years ago, now. Earlier today, though, when I found my old boxing gloves covered in dust, I knew I had to come out of retirement and get back in the ring.

For hours, I was searching for the best boxing gym for lessons in Brisbane, and there were quite a few options on my phone. I know, it sounds absolutely crazy. A champion like me, taking boxing lessons? But being so out of touch, I figured it couldn’t hurt. One place called the Boxing Warehouse seemed pretty promising, so I started my car and set off to find this five-star gym. Instead of a boxing gym filled with punching bags and exercise equipment, it was filled with tape, markers, bubble wrap and many unassembled cardboard boxes. Quickly, I realised my mistake. Of course, after so long out of the boxing system, the game would have changed. Boxing was more about using boxes for exercise than throwing punches, it seemed. So, now I’ll need a new sport to make up for it. Where can I take MMA classes? That might be a good substitute for my beloved boxing, now that the sport is unrecognisable. 

My entire life, I had wondered why they called it boxing. I should have seen this coming. The rules were always changing back in my day, so it was only a matter of time before this happened. In this modern age, we can’t have a sport where people punch each other for fun. It’s just not on. Disappointed, I left the building and went back to my car, where I have written this blog post. I guess I’ll need to find another gym.