I am going to be a STAR. Just booked my very first gig at Cafe Fallimento, a SUPER swanky arthouse place in the city centre. Even better: I didn’t have to do an audition! I only got the call a few minutes ago; apparently someone dropped out and they need a musician to cover their extremely important 2-4 afternoon slot.
Cannot WAIT to share my music with everyone. I hope banjo music is okay, because it’s my only genre. I think they’ll all appreciate how I bring people down to earth with my extremely relatable music. First piece of my set will be…hmm. I’m thinking ‘Ode to the Fine Services of Melbourne’s Tree Removal Professionals that I Saw Through My Window One Summer Morning’. I didn’t have a really good view, but I did hear them start up their tree lopping equipment, and it was surprisingly musical. A sort of…melodic hum. I’m guessing other people will find it as inspiring as I did, because both the lyrics and the way I play my banjo attempt to mimic the sound perfectly. Well, I say ‘lyrics’…there are no discernible words, obviously, because tree lopping equipment doesn’t talk. If I had to describe the lyrics, they’d be sort of like..umm…there doesn’t seem to be anything on my keyboard that can simulate a tree falling noise. But it’s okay, I can do it with my throat, and my banjo if it’s been a long enough time without it being tuned.
I gained a new appreciation on that day for all the companies in Melbourne that do tree removal, hence why I’ve turned it into song. And I just bet everyone at Cafe Fallimento will LOVE my rendition of ‘The Day I Turned Sixteen and Uncle Robbie Threw Me Into the Pool and I Heard the Screams of My iPhone as It Died’. Thought I didn’t have my old recorder with me (that’s what makes the authentic screams), but nope! Still here in my music bag! I’m such a professional.