Apologies to All the Conveyancers

Conveyancing and settlement…one of life’s great mysteries. Why do the birds sing? Why do we search for a higher purpose in life? Do conveyancing and settlement professionals dream of sheep in the midst of intense property transfers to the next field? Such are the question of life.

And such are, indeed, the questions that we do not consider to be important, until we actually have to face them. And then suddenly you’re in the midst of an intense property transfer, and the conveyancer you selected isn’t really feeling valued, because you didn’t consider everything. See, I learned all of this in my anger management class, the one I was forced to attend by the court after I got a bit upset at my local conveyancer. Brighton is such a pristine and relaxing suburb, I don’t know what got into me.

My fault, obviously. I was tender after the divorce, and the last thing I wanted was to sit still in an office while someone talked me through housing paperwork. I DID offer to replace the water cooler that I thrust through the window, right after my ex-wife called and said that she wanted to take the dog. Probably just a bad time, you know? If she’d rung while I’d been standing in a field of flowers, the sun shining, the gentle breeze massaging my cheeks, it would’ve been fine.

So yeah, I went on an eight-week course, taken by trained professionals, and really all they did was just teach me to think more about my actions. Then I was taught to think about the people I was affecting with my actions, which was pretty crucial. After all, I must’ve made quite a name for myself in the conveyancer circuit, with the whole…‘hole in the window’ thing. But that’s all behind me now.

I think about others now. Probably need to go back and apologise to the best conveyancers Collingwood has ever seen. I know I was in the wrong for the whole ‘table flipping’ incident. Yeah, there’s more than one…