Cars, Plus Air Con

Air conditioning is one of mankind’s greatest inventions, and I myself am one of mankind’s greatest inventions, so it makes sense that we would do great things together. Me and air con, air con and I. I’ve been busy upgrading my car so that it can travel through the air, in space and underwater (I’ve always wanted to take a little jaunt through the Mariana Trench), and then I thought… why don’t I try out an air con upgrade?

There are whole places devoted to this in Bendigo, aircon servicing for ordinary citizens who need a regas or whatnot, but I say we’ve only just scratched the surface of what car air conditioning is capable of. I’ve already drawn up a few diagrams for my new system… well, a few diagrams, for a few systems. I’ve only tried one, and it flash froze everything in the car. Must remember to tone down the power on that one. Although maybe that can be a setting for when you need to leave your car in the sun for about ten minutes while you go to buy milk and biscuits. It’ll still be nice and cool when you get back, but it’ll have heated up a little.

No, what I need is to find a perfect balance, an air con system that blasts cool air with such force that the whole car is covered. Imagine how the productivity of the human race will increase. My initial calculations suggest that without the waste of that time spent outside the car while you wait for it to cool down, the average person will gain back at least 3.6 seconds per year! The cumulative effect should be massive.

Have I gone mad with power, and excellence? Maybe the Bendigo car servicing shops should be left to their business, while I go on to even greater things. For example, cars cannot currently traverse the depths of the ocean. That is my task. Each to their own.

-Olympia